Top 9 Biggest Regrets

Top 9 Biggest Regrets

The old adage is to live with no regrets.  It is a great mantra, to be honest, and I firmly believe that we regret the things we don’t do much more than the things we do.  Thinking back on my life thus far, this holds true.  I have 2 large regrets if I think about it quickly.  First, I regret not doing study abroad in college over winter break, as I sat home and missed out on the experience of a lifetime.  Second, I definitely regret not having those heart-to-heart father-son conversations with my old man before he passed prematurely.  I think about these regrets often, and it is the impetus of today’s blog.

A Front Row Seat to Regret

In this line of business, you get a front-row seat to learn about people’s regrets and accomplishments.  Additionally, I am a sucker for reading all those articles about what seniors say they regret most when they look back on their lives.  To me these are powerful things to share as I’ve personally seen my two younger brothers study abroad (and love it), and many of my closest friends I’ve encouraged to have those meaningful conversations with their parents.  Sadly, one person’s regrets can be another person’s opportunity.

With that said here are some of the biggest regrets I’ve seen, read, and heard about from clients, friends, or even journalists I truly respect.  My hope is that one of these items strikes a chord with you and can encourage you to not make the same mistakes others have.

1. Less time working- In almost every list I’ve read or person I’ve spoken to they all say the same thing.  They wish they worked less.  The blood, sweat, and tears they spilled for their job simply were not worth it, especially when they think about all the opportunity costs that time took from them.
2. Took better care of themselves- Most seniors look back and wish they took better care of themselves.  If they did in most cases, they would have a better quality of life in their later years.  Of course, it is a hard thing to do when you are invincible in your younger years to think what that extra smoke, drink, food, and lack of exercise can compound to in your later years.
3. Wish they enjoyed the moment more- This one comes up all the time in my client meetings.  I’ve also heard this from big-time executive friends of mine who tell me they’ve traveled the world through work and haven’t seen a damn thing.  Almost exclusively when asked they all espouse the same line of, they wish they stopped to smell the roses more often. 
4. Following their dreams- So many elder statesmen (and women) express their regrets of not following their dreams.  Maybe it was because they were scared or didn’t have the right cheerleader edging them forward.  Perhaps it was life’s circumstances of needing to get a “safe” job to support their young family.  In any event, people not following their passions and dreams is something many people end up regretting when looking back on their lives.
5. Being a better son/father/sister/brother etc- It is always those closest to us we tend to treat the worst.  Maybe it is because we are so comfortable around them, that we lose any filter or consideration for their feelings.  Whatever it is there probably isn’t one of us who doesn’t feel they could be better in this department. 
6. Not spending enough time with your kids- This goes in line with number 5, but I think it is worth its own regret.  They say you spend most of your time with your children between 0-18 years old.  As a matter of fact, mind-blowing statistic here….. If you take from 18 until the rest of your life you will spend the equivalent of a 19^th year with your kids, that is it.  So, if you want a motivator to spend more time with your kids, look no further.
7. Not sharing our feelings- This goes in line with my life’s biggest regret.  It’s one of those tomorrow is never promised concepts.  Tell me there isn’t someone right now who you need to share how you truly feel about them.  I can think of only a dozen or so people with whom I could be more honest with and share how I feel about them (all positively by the way).  I have even started doing this in select situations and let me tell you.  If you want to make someone’s day or have a paradigm shift in a relationship, be vulnerable and simply share your true feelings.  In most cases, it will be reciprocated and in almost all cases it will be appreciated.
8. Holding grudges and/or not making up- It is hard being angry and takes so much effort than being happy.  Now I’m not telling you there are people who haven’t wronged you or vice versa.  But as we know life is short and most people are too proud to take the first step in making a mend.  This tends to be a big regret for most even if we tell ourselves and justify, we are better off without these people in it.
9. Not saving more- No surprise I hear this one often.  Funny though, as usually people fall into two camps, wish they saved more or wish they saved less and lived more.  In any event, it is a hard balance and leaves many of us questioning whether we could have done a better job.  I get it and we are here to help!

There are plenty more regrets out there, but these tend to be some of the ones I most commonly come across.  My only hope in writing this is that you are motivated to avoid at least one of these.