Never Apologize for Your Success

Never Apologize for Your Success

I’ve been fortunate enough through the years to have many great mentors.  Heck, I’m even old enough now that I have also had the pleasure of mentoring others along the way.  Today’s nugget comes from one of these mentors, and I have espoused its sentiment many times through the years to others I’ve mentored.  I figured if I thought it so worthy and valuable, I might as well share it with all you kind folks.

I was at dinner years ago with this mentor, and we started discussing the virtues of success, which I so badly wanted.  He looked me right in the eye, as I was scarfing down sushi and a pineapple martini at Tomatoes restaurant down the shore, and said Andrew, I’ve had the pleasure of reaching what others would consider a very successful career.  There will always be haters, jealousy out there, or even others who will try to knock you down.  The things I can tell you are that you should NEVER EVER APOLOGIZE OR FEEL BAD FOR YOUR SUCCESS.

Success Is What You Make It

That little statement has stayed with me through all my own personal trials and tribulations.  It has had a profound impact on how I view many things in my life.  At its core, what he was saying was a few things.  For starters, you simply can’t control what other people think, feel, or believe.  Thus, why would you waste any energy on what you can’t control?  I am a big fan of stoicism these days and totally love the concept in his comment.

Next, you know what it took to get to where you are today.  The sacrifices, the failures, the sleepless nights, the expense, and the mental anguish.  How dare you feel bad for what you have accomplished in life and your successes?  Very important disclaimer: Success doesn’t always mean monetary success.  It can take many different forms, and regardless, you know what it took to get there.

An Example

Quick story/example: My oldest daughter got into volleyball this year.  She really has taken to it and totally loves the sport.  Any way she made this travel team, which I was very proud of her for, and was super excited.  Of course, her dream position was to play libero (sorta the backrow captain).  That said, she didn’t get the position as it went to a more seasoned player.  Long story short she worked her ass off all season and finally the coach noticed and made her the starting libero, which was very exciting.  Of course, the kind soul she is felt bad naturally as this other girl was upset.  Sure enough, I told her Look, I get it, and that is unfortunate, but you put in the time and effort, and you should never feel bad about it. 

We All Rise Together

Finally, if you let the detractors and haters diminish your achievements in life, what is the benefit of achieving anything?  Seriously, shouldn’t you celebrate your achievements and successes in life?  Don’t you want the people around you that you care about to be happy for you, rather than angry or jealous?  I have many friends and clients who are uber successful.  Their successes certainly have driven me to be better, but certainly don’t conflate that with me saying their successes I envy.  Quite the opposite, actually, as I get excited hearing about every one of their triumphs, as we are all on the same journey.  If you want others to truly be happy for your accomplishments, then shouldn’t you be happy for theirs? 

To me, life isn’t a competition but a journey we each embark on.  We all have our own paths and goals we want to achieve.  Surround yourself with wonderful people who enable your successes, and you do the same too them. 

Here is my thought on the topic, and hopefully, you are achieving whatever successes you set out to achieve.  Know that I am rooting for you, and please feel free to share them with me, as I like nothing more than hearing about them.  Heck, why else do you think I got into this business?!

As always, stay wealthy, healthy, and happy.