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Since You’ve Been Gone (10yrs)
Whenever you need a profound title, turning to Kelly Clarkson is always a strong move. Now, I’m not sure when she sang this song, but it was about losing a parent, but heck, I’ll run with it anyway. This is going to be an especially emotional blog for me to write, as February 17th this year marks the 10-year anniversary of losing my father prematurely at age 61 (aka the day my music died). I’ve been robbed of 10 years with the greatest man I’ve ever met, and it’s not just me. My 2 younger brothers have been robbed, his now 6 grandkids, of course, my mother, and the community of friends he loved and loved him.
It is the single biggest regret of my life, and sadly, I couldn’t have done anything to prevent it. 61 is simply too young to go for anyone. Now, I bring this up not for a bunch of pity emails or sympathy, although it certainly stinks, rather I mention this as a warning sign. You see, I was having a discussion with my wife the other day about it, reminiscing and mentioning how I can’t believe it has been 10 years. That is when it hit me. I realized and said to Jess do you realize what this man has missed over those 10 years?
That is the purpose of this blog to outwardly reflect and share context, so maybe just maybe at least one person will be affected to change their outlook. I’m also hoping it will give perspective to all those who are entering or approaching their golden years to recognize why they are, well, so golden.
Since you’ve been gone
Since he’s gone, he has missed out on the birth of four of his grandchildren (of which 3 have been named in his honor). Since he’s been gone, he has missed out on the 2 grandchildren that he lived for and seeing them grow from little girls to amazing, beautiful, and loving young women. Since he’s been gone, he has missed out on retiring to Florida with mom and living the retirement dream. Since he’s been gone, he has missed out on countless trips around the world, both with my mom and on some amazing family trips. Since he’s been gone, he has missed watching my company grow substantially (I know he would be proud) and my brother’s successes as well. Since he’s been gone, he has missed out on many milestone moments like my baby brother’s wedding and his oldest granddaughter’s Bat Mitzvah. Since he’s been gone, he’s missed out on 10 sets of family holidays, summers at the Jersey Shore, and countless birthdays. Since he’s been gone, he missed out on 2 Eagles Super Bowls (how could I resist)! Finally, since he’s been gone, he has missed out on multiple heart-stopping, pants-dropping, earth-shaking, hard-rocking, booty-shaking, love-making, Viagra-taking, history-making, legendary E Street Band concerts!
So, you see, as much as it hurts for those of us he left behind, think what he himself has been shorted. In hindsight, it was the greatest 10 years of his life that sadly he didn’t get to experience.
The point
I know you get it; I lost my dad; it is the pits, quit yammering on. I bring this all up as we work with retirees every single day of our lives. Many of you don’t even realize what an unbelievable decade you have ahead of you or are in the middle of. Heck, many of you dread these ages simply because it means we are getting older and/or can’t believe you are the age of your grandparents now. I write this as a public service announcement to help you reframe your thinking from one of dread or apathy to one of excitement and energy. There may be no better time in your life than those retirement years, but the biggest key is in your ability to see it for what it is, and that is truly a gift.
I’ll leave you with something I read the other day, as it really hit home. “I think people get old when they stop thinking about the future. If you think about your dreams, your aspirations, and what you’re looking forward to, you’ll forever stay young.” Enjoy every moment, as you never know when it is your last.
Miss ya, pops, and thanks for watching out over us, hope we are making you proud. Love, your boy.
Stay wealthy, healthy, and happy.
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