Hedonic Treadmill

Hedonic Treadmill

There is this concept out there called the hedonic treadmill that I’ve been fascinated with for a while now. The idea is simple — human beings have a tendency to quickly return to their stable baseline of happiness despite major positive or negative changes. We adapt. Fast.

Think about it. What was the last thing you bought that you couldn’t believe you were able to afford? Or some life goal checklist thing you finally accomplished? Conversely, ever seen someone have a huge tragedy happen to them, and you think, I can’t imagine ever being happy again if that happened to me? Truth is, in both circumstances, you get a relatively short dopamine hit — or dip — until you settle right back into the level of happiness you had before.

Running

That’s the hedonic treadmill. No matter how fast you run, the treadmill keeps up. You can’t outrun it. You can’t under-run it. It just keeps going regardless of your pace.

I’ve always found this personally perplexing and, at the same time, fascinating. I’ve also seen it happen repeatedly in my clients’ lives. Usually it’s on the upside. We work diligently for years — scrimping, saving, planning — to get a client to their ideal life, the one we spent hours defining when we first met. We high-five, we celebrate, they’ve arrived, and I feel great knowing we helped guide them there. Then WHAM. They go and move the goal posts further away.

I’m not saying that to call anyone out. Truth bomb — I am probably the most guilty person I know when it comes to this. I look at my life, and it is exactly where I dreamed it could be. Scratch that, it’s better than what I set out to do when I started this journey many years ago. So why can’t I take my foot off the pedal and ease up a little? Why do I have this sensation to continually go faster and further? Can’t I finally relax, make every one of my kids’ sporting events, be home every night to cook dinner, and sing kumbaya together?

Sadly, I’ve realized the answer is no. Maybe it’s because I have even bigger goals. Maybe my drug of choice is the journey itself. Whatever it is, I 100% suffer from the hedonic treadmill.

Now here’s what has always amazed me — the individuals who have enough self-awareness to buck this trend. It doesn’t happen often, which is exactly why I look up to it so much. My best mate’s wife is this super impressive lawyer. Great person, likeable, wicked smart. She graduated from top universities and went straight into the corporate law world. Fast-tracked to partnership, crushing it by every external measure. Then one day she woke up and told my friend, ” This doesn’t make me happy.” Long story short, she ends up working as an attorney for a government agency — enough money to sustain their life — and realizes that more, more, more wasn’t going to get her where she actually wanted to be. Balance and quality of life mattered more than the next rung.

I love these stories. People who take a step back, look at the treadmill, and instead of cranking it up one more notch, decide that enough is actually enough. Their happiness isn’t contingent on any outside thing. It’s an internal litmus test that guides their life. No confirmation bias needed from anyone else. They just know.

These are some of the people I admire most. Although don’t tell my friend — he’ll never let me forget it.

Easier Said Than Done

Here’s where I’ll be honest with you, though. I know all of this intellectually. I can explain the hedonic treadmill to you over lunch and sound like I’ve got it all figured out. But knowing something and living it are two very different things. I still catch myself chasing the next milestone before I’ve finished enjoying the last one. I still feel the pull to do more, build more, be more — even when “more” isn’t the answer.

And maybe that’s the real lesson of the hedonic treadmill. It’s not about finding the perfect speed and stepping off forever. It’s about being honest enough with yourself to notice when you’re running just to run. Some of us are wired to keep going, and that’s okay — as long as we’re running toward something that matters, not just away from sitting still.

As always, stay wealthy, healthy, and happy.