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The 10 Money Languages – Which Are You?
Do you know your love language? There is a famous book/concept by Dr. Gary Chapman called The 5 Love Languages. It is a fun exercise to learn which of the 5 love languages you are as they can elaborate on how you give and receive love. To summarize them, they are words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch. So, I’ll ask again, do you know which of these 5 you most identify with as it relates to giving and receiving love?
If you don’t it is OK, however, I highly encourage you to take the exams online or read the book and find out. You’ll hopefully be enlightened as to how you most identify, and it can really strengthen your relationships when you not only know what love language you are, but what your loved one is as well.
Now, although I am a real Casanova today’s blog isn’t about your love language. Rather, I thought it interesting to take this same concept and think of it through the money spectrum. You see, love and money elicit many of the same emotions. Thus, if you have a love language you most certainly have a money language. I’m going to take a shot at sharing the most common money languages I’ve witnessed through the years. Hopefully, you can most closely identify with one and from there use it to better your relationship with money.
Money Love Languages:
They say one of the top few reasons for divorce is money. More explicitly the stress that is attached to money. It can come in the form of having too much or too little. It can also come in the form of not knowing how to spend it appropriately. In any event, for many people, money is a stressful thing. It becomes built up as this major part of one’s life and always has a shadow of stress associated with it.
There is no doubt that greed is a major benefactor of money. This is well documented going way back to biblical times. There have been wars fought over greed for money and are still being fought to this very day. There certainly is good greed and bad greed, however. It is OK to want more money, it is destructive if it is all-encompassing or gets in the way of your morals. That said plenty of people are consumed by money and the greed associated with it.
I’ve personally witnessed many people who didn’t grow up with lots of money and now have accumulated their fair share. In many of these situations, money creates a level of anxiety in them. Will they end up poor like they grew up again? Can it all be taken away, like what happened with XYZ family members? Although, in many of these situations they have accomplished exactly what they set out to do, it doesn’t shake that infallible anxiety feeling.
For some their money language is happiness. Regardless of how much or little they have; money makes them happy. They see it as a great enabler of things from vacations to lifestyle, to charity, to taking care of their family. They don’t define money by amounts, but rather by experiences and/or what this money can do to better their lives and the lives of those around them.
Many people who have accumulated money, especially if coming from modest means, feel anxious about the money they have. I’d say the other half are very proud of their newfound wealth. They’ve set out on a mission and are justifiably proud of their accomplishments. Of course, there is a point where pride can turn into showiness, so these people must be careful. That said there is nothing wrong with being unapologetically proud of the money and successes you’ve had.
Do you find yourself always jealous or envious of others’ financial successes? This is a tough money language and can be very destructive on many levels. For this group, I think it is most helpful to always remember that there is always someone with much more and much less money than you have. Even if you are the outlier in your friend group, being envious of money can be a debilitating emotion.
Do you have this sinking guilty feeling that you have accumulated your share of money and others haven’t? This is a tough one and I certainly “get it.” For this group, it is important to do your best not to feel guilty as there are plenty of ways to give back. Try thinking of money as a tool to make the world better and hopefully, some of your internal guilt for the hard work and sacrifices you’ve made will slowly dissipate.
Are you on your way up and afraid of what money will do to you? Have you seen others amas their share of it and it turns them into someone unrecognizable? This can certainly be the root of why money can lead to fear and self-sabotage in many people’s lives. The good news is you, and only you can control how money affects you. The harder pill to swallow is if you are truly fearful of what the impact will have on your significant other. In these cases, I find it most useful to be open and honest on the topic rather than bury it inside to explode one day in the future.
Perhaps one of the most common emotions that money elicits is security. It may be the one I most identify with personally. The more one accumulates the more “secure” they feel. Individuals can/do take a lot of solace in knowing they are debt free, or could retire, or even are in a position that if they lose their job, they don’t have to start eating cat food. All these feels are certainly understandable as money for many of us equals security.
Finally, for some money equals love. They love everything about it and yearn for more. Like anything else, there are healthy and unhealthy love relationships with money. You go too far, and it can become an unhealthy obsession, you don’t love enough, and you might squander hard work. Like anything else, a little bit of love when it comes to money, I feel can be an empowering feeling.
Which Money Love Language Do You Identify With?
Now what money language do you most identify with? Are there perhaps 2 that jump off the page to you? Now here comes the fun part, what would you say your significant other’s money language is? If unsure run this past them and have them answer accordingly.
Once you have a good sense of what you and your loved one’s money language are, the stage is set for the real work to be done. Discuss what and why you feel the way about money together. How can you enable each other to change and/or use your money language to your benefit? Are there ways for you and your loved one to have a better understanding of your thoughts and feelings as they pertain to money? As it should, now allow it to better yourself and your relationships. As you likely know the first step to change is always identifying you have a problem.
Hopefully, this exercise and blog can start to shed some light on some inward and outward reflections to make you and those around you better.
As always stay wealthy, healthy, and happy.